summertime.

the best summer ever; because of you.

My first summer with you, was also the best.
For I learnt how to love, and how love feels like.
I had my first kiss, my first touch, my first hugs.
I learnt that to love someone, you learn to let them go.
I learnt that to love someone, you learn to let yourself go too; for them.

whispers of summer her story friends birdsongs memories sunrays

sometimes what i want to say isn't apparent through what you just see(:

Friday, April 13, 2007

damnation.

damn, i rly hate this.
getting a bare bare bare pass for ss is definitely depressing.
knowing that some things cant be achieved is even more depressing.
knowing that you suck is the most depressing.
and i do, no use telling me that i dont. i know i do.

8:08 pm

visual dna (:

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

6:42 pm

Thursday, April 12, 2007

mel and bella, the class clowns.

mel and bella, the class clowns.
ahha today was so funny (x

bock crashed our class today during rs/aft sch [she stayed on] i was chionging my jap homework, and talking to felicia halfway about whether she should get someone a birthday present. then suddenly there was all this screaming coming from mel and bella. i dunno why or what they were screaming about, but they were talking to bock then. and everyone knows that mel + bella = screaming + hyperactivity + crazily high mel + even more crazily high bella.

since that was so typical of those two [i've kinda grown deaf to the constant shrieks and screams and laughter of mel and bella and anyone else watching their antics] i went back to talk to fel and to my jap homework. continue to imagine the ever-increasing frequency of high pitched shrieks from above-named high people.

then suddenly the cupboard door [the big one under the whiteboard] started slamming, so fel and i looked up from our discussion about the fascinating difference between hiragana and katakana [fel is trying to write jap, the last time i was doing my jap homework she copied the first word on my jap worksheet and proclaimed 'i can write jap!' until i told her that it was no use boasting, cuz what she copied was the word 'worksheet' and it wasnt going to be of any use to her -__-]

and we saw bock standing in front of the cupboard door and stopping it from opening everytime the occupants of that dark and claustrophobic place banged on it to make her let them out [no prizes for guessing who they are!] and bock couldnt stand it much longer, she's only a bit taller than me, and i'd say consisting of alot more skin and bones than me, so she started looking around for alternative means of keeping said door closed.

luckily for her, the empty table was right in front of her, so she dragged it across to the cupboard door. she took about 5 minutes doing that, the cupboard's inhabitants kept trying to fight their way out even though her foot was placed against the door. and when she finally got the table all the way to the cupboard door, she realised that since it was no one's table, there was no great bulk of books stashed within its cavity, and so it was quite light and they could push the cupboard open even though the table was there. so she sat on it.

then mel and bella started yelling "bock! let us out! pleeeeeease?" and bock's about the weight of a piece of paper plus a feather, so the table started tilting at a terribly precarious angle, and she kicked the cupboard door shut, and slammed it with all her weight, which isnt very much actually, so it was a miracle it actually pushed the door back. and bock yelled "i'll let you out only after you've repented!" and mel and bella started pleading with bock, but all she did was to shout "no! not till you repent!" then for some reason there was no noise from the cupboard at all, and the door stopped quaking from mel and bella's frequent attempts to kick [at least i think they were kicking it open, hearing the volume of the impacts] bock and the table out of the way.

mel suddenly yelled " eh bock! let us out of here!"
bock: why?
mel: because bella's giving birth and we need a midwife!
bock: are you sure! im sure bella can give birth la!
mel: yeah! listen to bella pushing!
bock: yeah right, im not letting you out until you repent.
[insert bella faking a baby's cry]
bock: eh you trying to trick me is it! the baby's not even born yet lorh!

then at this point mel starts saying "push! push! push harder!" [imagine those melodrama scenes of people trying to give birth, and you'll know what i'm talking about!] and with each push they pushed on the door, until finally the table reared up, threw bock off it [it was probably sick and tired of the treatment it was getting], and mel and bella fell out of the cupboard.

next thing i knew, i was getting a stomachache from laughing so hard, jan and [someone else, i forgot who =x] were practically banging their heads on the computer table, and fel was using her notes / my jap homework to bash herself on her head in an extremely futile attempt to stop herself from laughing.

i sure could do with this type of comedy everyday. its wonderfully de-stressing.

5:43 pm

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

sigh.

why did everything just screw up today?
maybe its me, it seems to be always.
and my poor dear cousin.. ):

9:58 pm

Monday, April 09, 2007

caught in between.

hehe all of a sudden i feel like a little kid again. [fen! you make me cant wait till i get to jc!] haha jc life sounds so colourful i rly cnt wait till i get to rj! [although i probably will suffer from a more severe lack of slp then than now, but haha im used to it alr] and i sound like a little kid, dont i. little kids always want to grow up. i still rmb in primary sch when i cldnt wait to be in sec sch, [i was so innocent i didnt even think of psle and what sch i'd go to. well, i was like, seven?] and now im alr where i wanted to be seven years ago and im thinking, i wanna turn time back, all the way back till i was in primary sch, all the way back when i could split perfectly, all the way back when i never worried about my future. i miss the good old carefree days.

but then again, i want to grow up even more! like be in jc. [damn, im still too much of a kid, you know. caught in between innocence and responsibility -- but im more towards the kid side.] smtimes, i think of the social freedom i'll have in jc, smtimes i think of the freedom from societal pressures i had as a little kid. and if you told me i could turn time, but just once, i rly wouldnt know which i'd choose -- the future, or the past.

but then, they say whenever you want to be someone, and when you become that someone you wanted to be so long ago, you realise, its not all that easy; its not all that ideal; its not all that great to be that someone. and then you wish, that you could either become who you once were, or become another person, and the cycle starts anew.

i remember. secone: everyone wanted to be a senior, cuz we thought we were oppressed. sectwo: everyone either wanted to be secone again, cuz secones actl dont have any responsibilities at all, and we thought they were the luckiest, or they wanted to be even more senior, cuz you get more respect. secthree; and im thinking, can i shoulder the responsibilities? i once said, to who i have forgotten, that having two badges on your collar is a great weight. she thought i meant literally, but i meant both literally and figuratively.

maybe, when we're all secfour, we'll want to be secone [or even younger!] again, cuz with responsibility comes the departure of childhood innocence. and we can only stare at the open cage door where the dove flew into the skies, and remember its song.

quote i remember from this cartoon when i was rly rly rly young: "kids - they want to grow up so badly, and when they do, they wish they were kids again. "

its true. i'm both the kid, and the grown-up.

and i guess the only way is to think about the best qualities of the time that you're in now.

treasure every moment of your life, instead of mourning after lost times.
i will try to, i promise.

10:19 pm

stolen from fen! ((:

[haha yes my dear cousin i found your blog (x]

1.Name someone who made you smile today.
alot of people, but my juniors never fail to (:

2. What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
uhhm. it was like, chinese! so i was uhhhhhm. sleeping..? *guilty look*

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
shooing my brother off my laptop, blogging [like now too], talking to sam shinyi and someone else, blogsurfing, researching on enzymes for bio, haha i can multitask! (:

4. What is something that happened to you in 1992?
I came into existence! [that's i was born to you, lay-people!]

5. What is the last thing you said aloud?
Isn't that song by Westlife --"? [no idea, fen said this]

6. How many different drinks did you drink today?
Soup, water, and a bit of f&n grape i pinched from joycelim!

7. What color is your hairbrush?
brown! [like my hair haha (x]

8. What was the last thing you bought?
Uhhh. food ba. but sarah ran down to the canteen for me, does it count? [thanks sarah!]

9. Who was the last person you kissed?
Can't remember. it was such a long time ago can, and i mean long as in like, maybe when i was 4? [shuttup, i know you're thinking im deprived.]

10. What color is your front door?
this peachy orange-ish coral-ish thing. [thank my mum.]

11. Where do you keep your change?
Wallet lor --"

12. What is the weather like today?
hot. but thts the norm; it was actl not so hot today.

13. What is the best ice cream flavor?
Ice cream is ice cream. Ice cream is good, unless it's a stupid flavour, like toenails, for instance. [i quote fen, but i agree totally anyway]

14. What is something you are excited about?
haha bad question. knitting redcross tribune scrapbooking chem shopping writingtomortals gettingmortals'letters goingoutwithfriends benandjerry's yougettheideailikealotofthings (:

15. When was the last rainbow you saw?
literally, like last year. figuratively, during lit (: [as in a rainbow of perspectives!]

16. What size shoe do you wear?
4 or 5, depends

edit: NO SEVENTEEN RAWR. [quote fen again (x]

18. Are you very random?
leanlisfh! [that was the way you say yes in my newly invented language haha.]

19. Do you want to cut your hair?
should i? maybe, dunno.

20. Are you over the age of 25?
not. [excuse me i know you're trying to hint at my height! hmph.]

21. Do you talk a lot?
haha yeah, for evidence go to question number 14!

22. Do you watch The O.C?
no. [whassat?]

23. Does your screen name have an "x" in it?
nope, but it has a cross! (:

24. Do you know anyone named Steven?
uhmm, not any that i can remember, hoho.

25. Do you make up your own words?
Yup. evidence at qn 18!

26. Are you ticklish?
hehehe! Depends on where. And by whom.

27. Are you typically a jealous person?
well, it depends la, much as i dont want to be.

28. Name someone whose name starts with the letter "R":
uhhhm. ruth.

29. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter "N":
Nat (:

30. Who's the 1st person on your received calls list?
sam hehe (:

8:54 pm

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

stress.

being terribly stressed out for 3 days in a row is lovely. sleeping past 2, anyone?

being stressed out since time immemorial is even more lovely.

but maybe i should stop complaning; stress should be characteristic of school by now.

then again, i worry.
excessively.
for people im not supposed to worry about.

but i cant not worry; i care. i really do, even if i dont tell you. i can't. we all can't tell you that we see it, much as we want to. [i mean, whoever heard of giving your seniors an sl session?] maybe even the sec2s see it; i have a feeling that they do too. but most of us think whatever is being done is really really mean.

and really really obvious too. when your juniors start noticing schisms in your year, you should know; its gone far far beyond unnoticeable.

the ma'ams told us that yearmates are forever. that yearmates will always be your best friends till the end of time.

we thought so too, because our year has never had any serious year problems for ages.
we used to think that your year would be the best-est of friends ever, because that's what you were, ma'ams. we used to think so, until this.

and because of this, we're lost.

who wouldn't be, when the guiding light in front of them is suddenly flickering madly. we dont know what to do; we dont know what to say; we dont know how to help.

we dont know both sides of the story, but she's your yearmate, after all.
its not fair to her.

we worry for you; we cry for you, [at least, i do,] because we love you.

and all we ask of you is to be how you were like before, ma'ams.

10:26 pm

Friday, April 13, 2007

damnation.

8:08 pm
|